Today my cooperating teacher, Jessica, was absent for the morning. She is the union rep for our school and so had a meeting to attend. Her student teacher from last winter semester was here as our classroom substitute. She's totally fabulous to work with because she knows all about all of the classroom routines and stuff since she became completely comfortable with them last year. She knows just what Jessica expects and likes and dislikes and how to manage the kids. Wonderful... easy morning, right? WRONG!
Jessica asked me yesterday if I would like to lead our math lesson for the morning and then transition and lead word study. I, of course, said "sure," (because when do you ever say no to a reasonable request from your cooperating teacher?) and then started to get nervous. She had the lesson marked in the math master's book for me to look at and I was able to teach right from the book. After two weeks of the word study routine both the students and I know exactly what to do there. It should've been easy and gone off without a hitch... but it didn't. Partly because the kids were all jazzed up because there was a substitute and partly because I've never officially led the entire class in a lesson before.
Things were unfamiliar for them and they were needing some comfort from their well-loved teacher, I guess. They were bananas. It was so frustrating and I just felt defeated in my attempt to gain control of the group. Laura, the sub, suggested I use the microphone system for the room, which helped a bit but I was just so discouraged that I would even need it! That might sound silly... but I don't usually need any voice amplification when trying to get the attention of kids. But then again, shouting at the top of my voice is not exactly encouraged in the classroom.
Anyway, I survived and so did the kids. Things were just a bit difficult while in the midst of the lessons. I ran long on time and the kids had to go back and finish work they should've had completed while I was teaching later on in the day.
Laura was super nice and said I did great... and I guess things weren't SO bad. I just had higher hopes. I suppose the more I develop my relationship with the class the more they'll grow to respect me and the easier it will be for them to follow my directions. I just don't want to be that inept teacher that everyone talks about, you know?
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2 comments:
Sweetheart, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. No amount of classes and observation can prepare you for a class full of children during an actual lesson. Take the sub's compliment and be proud that you made it through the day. And know that it definitely gets easier.
There will always be awkward missed teaching days. No worries. Think about tomorrow. :)
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