Health in General

After my trip to California and the acupuncture treatments I received while I was there I have been made to realize that my body is not in tip top shape. I honestly didn't think it was but I was afforded a clearer understanding of what things I've been dealing with and the picture seems pretty bleak right now. I had begun to feel better, physically, on my trip and since have returned to feeling mediocre at best.

I know that everyone feels sore and tired and grouchy now and then but those symptoms have been my daily norm for a couple years now. As I said in a previous post: "I have been gaining weight and having headaches and falling asleep on my date night for so long that I don't even really remember being relaxed and happy anymore." Granted that I wrote that post while feeling particularly upset and stressed out, but all of those things are absolutely true. I'm always tired: even after a full night's sleep I don't really feel rested. Quite often (like during the good ol' days of high school) I wake up with a headache that lasts all day until I go to bed. My poor little Kevin is quite sick of always being grouched at and I'm at least 30 pounds heavier than I was 3 years ago (which is A LOT).

While I was filling out the extensive paperwork that was needed for the acupuncturist, I was on the phone with Kevin and asked him if I was irritable (it was one of the symptoms I was supposed to rank for myself). There was a pause on the other end of the line. I assured Kevin that he could be honest without any penalty and he relunctantly agreed that yes, I could definitely be described as irritable. I'm sure that other people would also describe me as irritable as I've been hearing things that are said about me around work and such ("Alexa's scary," etc.).

Needless to say: that bothers me! I have absolutely no desire to be so entirely difficult to get along with that people would rather not bother speaking to me at all (which seems to be my current status in many relationships).

My acupuncturist attributed my irritability, weight gain, and fatigue to an imbalance with my thyroid. One of the questions he asked me during one of our sessions was whether or not I experienced any depression. I said no, thinking, of course, that I'm not someone that mopes about the house all day or has trouble getting out of bed in the morning. He expressed extreme surprise and explained that my blood tests would suggest otherwise.

Rethinking that question, however, I realize that I did not then have a very clear definition of what depression actually is. After talking with Kevin about it a little bit and looking up an actual definition, it seems that depression = feeling awful, which, of course, has been my recent experience (plus various other symptoms that I've also been dealing with).

I've run out of the bottle of iodine I got while I was in California (which is the stuff that is supposed to restore order to my thyroid) and like I said, have returned to feeling awful. Recent money issues have prevented my restocking the supplement cupboard but Kevin and I have decided that this needs to become a financial priority. I've run myself down pretty badly and I need to begin to rebuild. Here's hoping bringing balance into my body will help me be happier. I don't want to be irritable and uncomfortable in my own skin any longer!